did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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