I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
