He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
