How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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