he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
