she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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