Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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