i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Randomize
