I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
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The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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