I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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