I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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