If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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