Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
