what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Boobs speak an international language.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
