I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
