We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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