Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
