Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Randomize
