Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize