i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
