So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
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I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
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Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize