I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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