your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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