I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
