there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
