That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
