I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize