Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
