There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
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i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
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He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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