There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
