I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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