ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
