so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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