I think I am morally bankrupt
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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