Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
