Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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