Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize