is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
