I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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