Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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