I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Rumble strips road head = magical
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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