gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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