so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
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basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
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you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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