If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.