no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
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It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...