he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
