Betty ford says i'm here all night
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize