I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
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