taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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