I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
