Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
