all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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