You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
