haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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