lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation