You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip