Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.