It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
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I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know