No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.