new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.