the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.