I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
