i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
