I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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