either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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