so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I can't turn off my feet"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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