I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize