ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
